20 Questions at 4AM

Photo from petcha.com : Buti pa si doggy sarap ng tulog, e ako? 

Inspired by iamthecoffeechic, I too was having a hard time to sleep these days. Worst that I’ve been awake was until 5:30AM and I caught the sunrise. Don’t be confused, I’m not doing anything from 12AM up to the time I can sleep except from lying on bed. It’s just taking too long for me to knock-out for the day. This in turn gave me headaches for days and paracetamol became my bestfriend.

During those sleepless hours, one reason that I can think of that’s causing me to stay awake is because of my hyperactive mind and the following are the questions or things that I’ve been thinking this time of my life:

  1. I hope my payroll discrepancy will be cleared out this June15.
  2. How can I be successful with my life?
  3. Should I learn to make websites again?
  4. How can I attain the kind of lifestyle that I want?
  5. What business should I put up?
  6. Will I ever get married?
  7. Why did I waste my time with f*ckboys?
  8. Will my salary be enough for this period?
  9. I want to have my own space, a condo.
  10. Is there something wrong with me that I always had a failed relationship?
  11. I want a drone.
  12. I want to travel.
  13. I think I should stay away from Facebook to avoid comparison with others’ life.
  14. I need a new work.
  15. I will miss my resigning friends.
  16. Will I get rich?
  17. Why am I not lucky?
  18. I want to migrate to another country.
  19. I want to study again, but what course?
  20. I want to sleep.

All the reason of my anxiousness these days are plotted above. Though sleeping and dreaming of something temporarily eases the pain of thinking real life problems, I still wanted to solve it with open eyes and I wanted to feel the success of eliminating it. There’s nothing better than living in the REAL world especially if you’ll get to eat chocolates right?

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